Bundle up in warm layers and go caroling with your family. Take turns in picking your favorite Christmas melodies. Many times we go to the houses of our kids’ friends and shoot them with marshmallows when we’re done singing. You could also bring candy canes or gingerbread cookies to give out. (Be creative and have fun!)

I have said this in so many ways, but let me say it again: You can influence who your kid’s friends are. Many parents think, I can’t influence anything my kid does at school. That is not true.

You can influence who your kid’s friends are even when they are at school. First of all, when they are young, plant in their heart the desire to have the right kinds of friends. That does not always mean they are going to choose correctly, so you are going to have to help shape who they call, who they hang out with, who they are allowed to interact with after school, which is where most of the shaping would happen. Most important, if you find kids who are really making a positive difference, find ways to get your kids connected with them. At the very least, do not allow them to have a bunch of slug friends that are so submerged with media and the culture that it rubs off on your kids.

Doing an activity like this together will help you get to know who your kids friends are. It is imperative to know who your kids spend most of their time with. What kind of talk goes on at school? What’s being said in the locker room? Who are their best friends? And in particular, what is going on at overnight parties and sleepovers, even when they are young? Are they staying with their friends the whole night?

Most parents don’t imagine they have any control over what are considered “normal” activities. How can parents control who their kids’ friends are or what they do? How can they possibly know what’s being said or done when their kids stay the night at another person’s house? These are all difficult questions, but they are not unanswerable. We need to wake up to the fact that what seems to be the “normal way kids grow up” can actually pose entry points for the culture to begin to shape their minds and hearts.

Sacrifice at least 2 hours of your time to have a bonfire with your immediate family. Have your son help gather wood for the fire, or have your daughter help prepare s’mores for everyone to eat.

Parenting was never supposed to be easy. No one ever called it simple, effortless or painless. If you ever put your kids on remote control because you have all sorts of “electronic baby-sitters” available to occupy their time, you can say that it really doesn’t affect your kids, but if they’re still in the process of growing up, how can you be sure? The bottom line: parenting equals sacrifice.
“But I don’t have time,” a parent may say. “I have so many pressures at work; I am trying to provide for my family.” It’s a seemingly rational explanation , but the question is: Provide your family what? More of the stuff that the media machine is trying to sell? Wouldn’t you rather provide a safe, loving environment to impart your values to your kids?

It’s undeniable that as a parent, you will sacrifice something. You can choose to sacrifice up front: time, sleep, career, hobbies while your kids are small. But I guarantee that you will also reap joy and delight as they grow up. You will gain a lifetime of intimately knowing them and the privilege of helping them grow into seasoned, productive, godly adults. If you don’t sacrifice up front, you will sacrifice later. Think about scenarios such as your child getting pregnant (or getting someone pregnant) as a young person, multiple times. Imagine living through your child’s divorce (perhaps several times) and playing the visiting game with divorced in-laws for the rest of your life. Can you picture a 35-year-old old couch potato camping out on your futon because he can’t hold down a job?

Your kids will be old a lot longer than they are young. I know people in the older generation who have had grown kids causing them misery and regret for their entire adult life. Boy, now that is a sacrifice. Even if you do it for purely selfish reasons, sacrificing up front to spend the needed time with your kids in order to raise them well will protect from life-long sacrifice.

Set aside some time today, to spend time alone with your spouse. Not only will this help to bolster your relationship, but your kids will gain a healthy view of marriage.

After the new wears off of a marriage relationship, it’s easy to start taking each other for granted. You stop pursuing each other. You get focused on all the busyness of raising children––getting them to do their homework, taking them to sports practices, games and other lessons and rehearsals. There is really no time left for each other. Nevertheless, husbands and wives need to prioritize their relationship in such a way that they make time for each other.

One of the things that Katie and I have done for years is have a weekly date night. We also learned very early in our relationship about having “couch time” every day. After I got home and said hi to the kids and loved on them, Katie and I would sit down and talk about how the day went, and so forth. The kids would see us spending time with each other even though they wanted our attention. They saw that we gave top priority to our relationship with each other.

It’s important for children to see that they are not the center of your universe. If they are the center of your universe (which is common thinking of parenting romanticized), they control your world. They get you to do anything they want. What?! My spouse is more important than my kids? It might sound harsh or heartless, but the fact is, kids feel secure when they see a team of a mom and a dad who love each other and are committed to each other. The kids feel fine being priority number two.

Buckle up, and get ready to drive the family around to see the local area’s Christmas lights and decorations. Remember, the displays are not the point of the trip; it is a chance for your kids to grow closer to you.

The window to your child’s heart has a much higher probability of opening after you do some activity together that has nothing to do with a serious topic. For example, when you play a nonsensical game or go somewhere fun where your child feels an atmosphere of love and trust and affection from you, the window will probably begin to squeak open by the end of the night, after your time together. Yes, you’re tired. You would have been happy for the conversation to come up earlier, maybe over dinner or coffee, or during one of the activities you were doing. But no, your child wants to bring up a topic now. The prudent parent will see the crack in the window and take the cue. And even though tired, he or she will ramp up again to go through the window, because open windows are few and far between.

So when your kids invite you to do something with them, even if you don’t feel comfortable, and may not want to, the fact that you do it and do it with them, even when it makes you look stupid, sends a message to them. It bonds you to them and proves that they can trust you with their hearts.

One time at the beach, one of my kids said, “Come on, Pop, let’s go dive into the waves together.” I had already jumped in, and now I wanted to relax. I wanted to read, but there was an opportunity for a shared experience with her. “The water feels amazing; you’ve got to jump in these waves,” she said. And so I did. I took the cue and responded to the fact that she was waiting for my presence. The same is true of your children. When they want you to do something with them, even when you would prefer not to, do it anyway, and your child will connect with you on a deeper level and will be more prone to openness with you.