Ask your kids if they know of any friends or acquaintances that are financially in need. Have them pick out a present that person would appreciate and leave it for them anonymously.

Every dollar you spend communicates what you value. Even if you can afford everything you want (or everything your kids want), it may be smarter to refrain from fulfilling those desires. Do not let innovation and technology drive your purchases. Make decisions on what you spend money on based on what you value and what is important to you. Before you buy, think through the implications of purchasing a piece of technology, which could turn into a time thief and shape the wrong values. If that means you don’t get the flat screen TV that you’ve wanted for years, then so be it.

Fathers and mothers who get a monetary bonus from their employer and spend that money on indulging themselves on cutting-edge technology only make the family even more chaotic by inviting more media into the house. Before you buy, think about the effect every purchase will have on your family. Have the wisdom to show restraint. Owning every toy that has been invented is not the path to freedom and happiness. You need to decide in advance what kind of family you want to have and the values you want them to emulate. Then allow your purchases to line up with those values. Even though your ego will not be thrilled in the moment, your family will be thrilled in the long term. Instead of buying that latest gadget, gather your family together and decide on a family of one or more friends that you can bless instead with that money. It doesn’t have to be huge, just thoughtful. Let your teens pick out the present and let it be your secret.

Write a note to each of your children today. Tell them what you most appreciate about them, remind them of your favorite memories together at Christmas, and express dreams you have for them in their futures.

As we speak to our kids, we need to be careful to speak kindly, and without condemnation. We need to have a voice of compassion, not of anger. We don’t finger-point and communicate that our teens are worthless when they do wrong, but we instead must demonstrate our love in creative ways.
 
Our voice needs to sound like the voice of Christ as we communicate our ideals, values and faith. We need to step out of a defensive position and get offensive in terms of creatively engaging our teens in deep thought so they at least have to consider what we say instead of simply dismissing us. Is this not what Jesus did with His parables, stories and object lessons? He made people think through the issues of life, with faith and the Creator God as a backdrop. They had to wrestle with their faith and their own connection to God, based on the stories He told.

We need to do the same thing with our teenagers. Rather than condemning our sons and daughters for their mistakes, we need to start nurturing their walk with God. We cannot try to engage the matters of the heart from a cerebral perspective only; our voices must be loving, creative and potent so that the message goes to the heart. This in turn will help shape their opinions, actions, habits, and ultimately their destiny. 

Take time today to invest in your kid’s interests. As a family, spend one hour doing one thing that each of the member of the family loves to do.

It’s easy to think, If I put my family first, I am getting further behind; I have a list of things to do at my job (or ministry) that takes 24/7 to do. It really is a fallacy to think that way. In order to do your very best at your job or ministry, you need to be whole. You need to be strong. You need to have a whole family, whole children and a whole relationship with your spouse. By listening to them, disciplining, instructing, talking, running, being frustrated––just being present with them, you become a better person. When you go back to your office, you are not just a driven machine executing details; you are equipped to relate better to the people you are managing and deal with the frustrations they have at home.

It’s one-dimensional living to only go after your career or ministry. We often think that if we stay focused on that one dimension, we will be successful. If you are married, having a wholesome marriage will make you more successful than just being driven by your career. If you have children, being focused on your marriage and your children brings wholesomeness to your life so that when you put your game face on for work, you really are at 100 percent capacity rather than barely surviving from day to day.

Marrying Katie has truly saved my life. In order to have a balanced, wholesome marriage, I have learned that I’ve got to listen to her. I’ve learned how to say to myself, It’s time to shut work off and focus on her. When we decided to have children, we committed to spending the right amount of time with them. Family life has actually preserved my life and increased my chances of living a longer life because of the wholesomeness found in a relationship with my wife and children.

Don’t miss out on the experience of having your kids share something that enlightens you, or even rebukes you. They may show you a part of your personality that needs work. They will definitely give you joy. God brings our children into our life to make us the whole people we need to be to be effective in the world, period.

Get to know your kids on a whole different level! Spend today planning a Christmas party with them.  Create a list of their friends to invite, plan to make the food your kids enjoy and play games your children will love!

From a very young age, encourage your children to be ‘others-oriented.’ For example, when your kids decide to get entrepreneurial, as most kids will, you can encourage them to mow lawns and sell lemonade so that they can donate the money to help other people, not just satisfy their own purchasing power. In a similar vein, when they do want things, instead of buying them everything they want, teach them to find enterprising ways of earning money. They need to learn how to save for things they want to buy.

We can teach them to be opportunistic. When my oldest daughter, Hannah, was 13, she had an idea that she wanted to use the Internet to help preteen girls through a Web site she wanted to create. I got a mentor to help her learn how to do a little bit of programming. She wrote the code for a Web site called girlofgod.com. She had all kinds of ideas on how she was going to do the art. It was thrilling. She got lots of preteen girls on that site and ministered to them. The vision did not continue for very long, but it was a fantastic life lesson for her. She saw this truth: “If I have a dream, I can learn how to go about achieving it, and I can accomplish something.” Help your kids find opportunities to impact other people and not just indulge themselves; and then show them how to take the vision from an idea stage to completion. Find ways to make the party special and meaningful by asking your kids about their friends’ interests. Prepare an intimate Christmas gathering for your daughter at the house, or plan a football game for your son at the park. Remember the purpose of your plans is to get to know the people your kids are close to.