Bundle up in warm layers and go caroling with your family. Take turns in picking your favorite Christmas melodies. Many times we go to the houses of our kids’ friends and shoot them with marshmallows when we’re done singing. You could also bring candy canes or gingerbread cookies to give out. (Be creative and have fun!)

I have said this in so many ways, but let me say it again: You can influence who your kid’s friends are. Many parents think, I can’t influence anything my kid does at school. That is not true.

You can influence who your kid’s friends are even when they are at school. First of all, when they are young, plant in their heart the desire to have the right kinds of friends. That does not always mean they are going to choose correctly, so you are going to have to help shape who they call, who they hang out with, who they are allowed to interact with after school, which is where most of the shaping would happen. Most important, if you find kids who are really making a positive difference, find ways to get your kids connected with them. At the very least, do not allow them to have a bunch of slug friends that are so submerged with media and the culture that it rubs off on your kids.

Doing an activity like this together will help you get to know who your kids friends are. It is imperative to know who your kids spend most of their time with. What kind of talk goes on at school? What’s being said in the locker room? Who are their best friends? And in particular, what is going on at overnight parties and sleepovers, even when they are young? Are they staying with their friends the whole night?

Most parents don’t imagine they have any control over what are considered “normal” activities. How can parents control who their kids’ friends are or what they do? How can they possibly know what’s being said or done when their kids stay the night at another person’s house? These are all difficult questions, but they are not unanswerable. We need to wake up to the fact that what seems to be the “normal way kids grow up” can actually pose entry points for the culture to begin to shape their minds and hearts.